What do you hope your children say about you 30 years from now as a mother?

Yesterday afternoon was beautiful one.  The sun was shining, it was relatively warm, and my two older boys were enjoying the backyard and fresh air while I scuttled about the kitchen doing the things moms tend to do.  I heard the whoosh of the sliding patio door behind and when I turned around I saw two sweet little grubby smiling faces. In their dirt stained hands they carried bunches of dandelions.  “These are for you Mommy!  We got them for you! Aren’t they pretty?”  Of course they were!  They were the most gorgeous flowers I’d ever seen in my entire life.  I grabbed a glass and filled it with water and set the treasures out on our dining table.  This delighted my handsome little men and they ran off to find more!  Before I knew it the glass was nearly overflowing.  It reminded me of my own heart and how it overflows with love for them.

Later in the evening when we gathered around the table for dinner that little glass prompted made me think about all of those times I did the same thing for my own mother.  How many times did I pick bunches of dandelions when I was a child?  Too many to count.  And why did I do it?  Because I absolutely loved my own mom.  I still do!  I wouldn’t be who I am without her.  She made me who I am.  She sacrificed to provide me a good life. I have the best Mom I ever could have asked for!  All of these thoughts led me to reflect on a question I saw floating around Twitter several weeks backs.  What do I hope my children say about me 30 years from now as a mother?  I wish I could remember the source.  I’d love to link to them!

My three small beautiful children make my life so worth living.  They make the world so alive for me.  Sometimes people sort of scoff at the idea that I have three babies ages five and under. I must be so crazy to have so many so close together!  I think that is so sad!  I couldn’t imagine life any other way.  My babies teach me more than I ever imagined.  They humble me in a way I never could have fathomed.  They are treasures here in this world.  I do not deserve these sweet souls.  I am wise to remember that they do not belong to me but they are on loan, gifts from God, and I have been called by Him to raise them in His reflection so that they may grow up and fulfill what they will be called to do on this earth.  What a responsibility.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed like I could never be capable or worthy of such a calling.  But I know I wouldn’t have been asked if I didn’t have what it takes.

30 years from now when my children reflect back on the life I provided, on the lessons I taught them, on their experiences… what will they say about me as a mother?  That is sort of a scary thought isn’t it?  Do you live your life with that sort of forward thinking?  30 years from now what is done will be done!  There will be no chance to go back and do it all over again.  There will be no opportunity to change or make better.  There just aren’t any do-overs!

I imagine I am like all mother’s.  I want my children to say fond things about me.  Who on earth would want their children to hate them?  I want them to think of me as  loving, patient, kind, and fair.  When I look at that short list the word patient sticks out at me.  I struggle with that.  I don’t think I’m alone on that front and it is a daily internal tug-o-war.  I also want them to think of me as someone who set high expectations and provided the support to help them succeed.  On this front I feel decently comfortable.  As a matter of fact my husband and I have been tweaking our family routines in order to create this very atmosphere.  I’m seeing great success!  Perhaps that will be a future blog post.

I want my children to think of me as a mother who set firm boundaries, who didn’t let them get away with anything, and yet was very fun loving.  When I reflect on this one I think I’m doing a fine job munchkin’s in line.  They are great well behaved kids.  So much so that I am able to let out the proverbial line so to speak and offer them appropriate freedom and flexibility.  I do not usually feel the need to breath down their necks every minute of every day.

But am I fun loving?  I want my children and I to enjoy their childhood’s!  And 30 years from now I hope we are both enjoying their adulthood’s!   I think I can do better.  I believe I get so caught up in the day-to-day that I rarely stop long enough to just play, to just be silly, to just enjoy the moment.  I know my boys would love for me to play with them more.  What better way to show them I love them than to make time to do what they love to do.  Maybe I’ll write that on sticky and put on my mirror so I think about it every day.

30 years from now I hope my children are mature enough to see how much I love them.  I hope they believe that I gave them my all and while I will never be perfect that I always do that best that I possibly can.  I hope they can reflect on the hard choices I’ve made and understand that I truly believed I was doing what was best for them.  30 years from now I hope my children enjoy me and that I enjoy them.  What could possibly be better?

All of this because of few yellow dandelions.  I can’t wait until they get out of bed today and go out and pick me so more.  I am thrilled that they love me that much.  I am truly blessed!  Patience and fun!  I can do better and I plan to work on these things.  What will you work on?

Comments

  1. WELL HOW DID i MISS THIS ONE i READ THEM ALL BUT DID NOT SEE THIS ONE. yOU MAKE ME CRY. IT IS AN HONOR AND AND PRIVAGE TO HAVE YOU AS A DAUGHTER.aND YOUR A GREAT MOM AND THATS WHAT THEY WILL THINK IN 30 YEARS. I LOVE YOU.

  2. LOVE that photo…so peaceful, fresh, and dreamy. You could hang that on a wall and never tire of it.

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