Why Stand Still? My Story About Overcoming Fears and My Constant Quest to Keep Improving!

Are you satisfied with who you are? With your life? With your own character? I have to say that I am not and dear God do not let me ever be!  I’m not saying that I am not happy. I truly am. I’ve said it before and I say it often because it is true! I am blessed beyond my wildest measure. My life is taking me in directions I never planned yet the path I am on is turning out to be far better than the path I once thought I wanted to be on.

I have everything. I want for nothing. I revel daily in the blessings I have been handed. I spend many waking hours thankful to God for what he has bestowed on me.  But I know I cannot stand still. I cannot stop here. I am too hungry for that. I am in a constant pursuit to better myself in every area of my life. I want to know more, do more, see more, experience more, and GROW!

Is there anyone out there like me? Sometimes this trip I’m on is pretty tiring and I’d love a friend.

If I stop now I may never become the person I was meant to be. I’ll become bored, stagnant, and probably depressed. I find it very hard to understand people who stay in the same place in their lives. Never challenging themselves, never bettering themselves. Especially, when they say they hate their job or other aspect of their life. Are they so afraid to take a risk on becoming who they were meant to be that they would rather wallow in their own muck?

About 3 years ago I was cruising Craigslist checking out opportunities for photographers and dreaming about someday or what might be. I had no intentions of responding to any ads. I wasn’t a good enough photographer.  I was just daydreaming. I spotted this ad from a wedding photographer offering to mentor and train potential wedding photographers free of charge. She simply wanted to give back. Something drew me to that ad.  I don’t know what it was.  I had never considered wedding photography up until that minute.  Any sort of photography business was still a pipe dream.  Even if I applied, never did I imagine I’d be chosen. I just didn’t think I was good enough and I thought I never would be. Plus, weddings are crazy stressful and HARD! I mean, what if I royally screwed up some poor girls day? I could be SUED! Who was this photographer anyway? Some sort of saint? No one offered what she was offering. She must have a horde of would-be super talented photographers beating down her door. Surely I never would be chosen. I had a million and one reasons not apply. I had a very long list of fears. But I did apply. Almost as a joke as in “See, she didn’t pick me. Just proves what I already know. That I stink!”

Then I forgot all about it. I went back to what I was doing. I kept at it with my photography because I loved it!  It fed my brain!  I need to feed my brain!  But when I heard nothing from this lady I figured I was right. It wasn’t for me. She didn’t choose me. After all I had no online portfolio to share with her at the time so she knew I stunk. Life moved on.

Until 9 months later when I finally did get an email with a request for a interview. I nearly passed out from shock! I had put it so far out of my mind I thought it was a weird spam thing and I nearly deleted it.  I sat and stared at it for a good five minutes until the pieces all came back together for me!

After much back and forth and plenty of coaxing and pep-talks by my husband I went on that interview. I seriously need to share that story some day. What a trip that was. But the rest is history. I was set on a path I never planned. I was given opportunity for growth I didn’t know I wanted. I found a love and a passion I didn’t know I was looking for. And I’m creating amazing relations and life experiences I never would have otherwise had. All because of an email I sent even though I was sure it would never be answered.

I’m thankful that I am always hungry and looking to keep moving. Otherwise I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am today. Now that is a scary thought.

This photo of me was taken just about 11 or 12 years ago not long before I graduated from college. Boy were my hopes and dreams different back then! I’m glad I didn’t cling to what wasn’t right for me and instead I’ve moved forward and changed and grown. It all makes me sort of excited for what the next decade of my life brings!

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