Avoiding The Train Wrecks In Your Home and School That Crack Your Marriage!

It is day two of….MarriageBlogHop

To read the other posts in this series click here.

I hope you enjoyed yesterday’s post I called Avoid a House Divided.  In that post I really focused on helping your family to create a vision not only for you homeschool but for your entire life.  Today I want to help you…

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Imagine that it is Monday morning following a hectic weekend of running errands, church, home projects, nursing a sick child, helping your in-laws and heaven only knows what else.  You didn’t find the time to clean your own home.  Your big plans for organizing and laying out your lesson plans for the week were shot by everything else that seemed to take priority.  There are mountains of laundry, piles of dishes, no food in the fridge and your children are staring you down and falling into their own version of hysteria because they are wondering what on earth they are supposed to be doing and you don’t know yourself.  You are drained… running on empty and your husband has the misfortune to walk in the room at that moment.  He might even do something crazy like ask you what’s for breakfast.  You nearly bite his head off and he snaps right back.  Before you know it you are bickering over who finished the last of the coffee while your children race around screaming their heads off…  He walks off in huff and you stomp off in the opposite direction.  No one is speaking… except the children who are actually screaming.  You bark at them to find their workbooks and everyone melts into a heap because… “It’s just too hard!” So you melt into a heap of your own!

You spend the day in a bad mood and later on when the children have finally fallen into bed and the house is actually quiet you do your best to lay out your frustrations on your husband but he only scoff’s and says something uncaring like… “Why don’t you just put them in school if so darn hard?”  You roll over, throw the covers over your head, and lay there in a lump of bad feelings until you hear him start snoring behind you, all the while resentment builds.

Not exactly the happy homeschooling household is it?  In fact, I would call this a total train wreck.  This isn’t at all what you dreamed it would be.  I’ve had many days similar to this. How did it come to be this way?  How can you fix this and avoid it in the future?

Feed your relationship with God

Things tend to get this way when I haven’t fed myself with quiet time with my Lord.  If I’ve neglected my own Bible study and prayer time then for some reason the rest of my world starts to tumble down.  If I am praying over my home, my marriage, my children, and my homeschool daily everything just seems to come together much better.  It may still not be perfect, but it is better.

Feed your relationship with your husband

At times I find myself in the midst of a mess and it is already too late to switch tracks and avoid a wreck.  Too much has been neglected.  My husband can seem unplugged and uncaring when I haven’t taken the time to layout how things are going and what is up in my OWN world or to check-in with him and his concerns.   Grab him by the hand if he’s home, or by text message if he isn’t and pray.  Confession… I STINK at this! Currently my husband and I are working very hard on learning to pray together.  Honestly it has taken me years to get to this place.  I never really felt comfortable praying with my husband out loud.  This is a work in progress.  When I get over myself though, boy does it help.

Love On and Guide Your Children

My children turn into melting messes when I haven’t slowed down enough to talk and laugh with them and to let them in on what is up next in our world.  I’ve been too busy and they’ve felt a bit adrift.  If we are already in a train wreck I know that I’ve got to toss out whatever I thought my own plans were for the day.  I’m going to need to focus on my kiddos.  A simple heart to heart can work wonders!  I just need to let them know, in an appropriate way, what is wrong and how they can help.  Before I know it I’ve got my own little team ready to tackle the issues of our day.

Feeding Your Homeschool

Let’s face it.  Homeschool’s don’t plan themselves.  I do like the old adage that if you fail to plan you plan to fail.  It’ SO true!  If your family vision involves homeschooling and you’ve allowed other things to trample over that priority then you really are just asking for trouble.  Church, helping family, and other things in life need to be done of course but don’t let them crowd out the time you need to keep the school chaos under control.  When the schooling is planned there is peace in the home.  Peace in the home leads to peace in the marriage.

Reflect On Your Vision 

In the chaos sometimes we need to look back to what our vision for our family and homeschool is.  Is what we’re doing on a daily basis aligned with that?  Do we need to shift what is being done or do we need to shift our vision?

Mostly… Just Pray 

Of course when I open my eyes the messes are still there, the kids are probably still pitching a fit about something, the school work hasn’t suddenly planned itself… but the peace that I have after praying, especially praying with my husband, makes it that much better.

To read the other posts in this series click here.

Before you go… did you enter the Kindle Fire giveaway?  More info here.

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 Are you enjoying or massive blog hop?  I am sure am!  There is just so much good homeschooling wisdom in the world.  It feels fantastic to know that I’m not in it alone and that some Momma out there has faced my same challenges.  I challenge you sit back and red some posts from some very fine homeschooling moms out there! 

Summer Blog Hop

 

Comments

  1. Excellent, Excellent, Excellent!! Thank you Crystal! These are incredibly helpful reminders to me.

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