Christ Centered Character Training Day 2: Fighting!


It’s a screech! A scream! A thump on the ceiling overhead.  A wail that reminds me of an animal I might only encounter near the ocean and then, the hammering of footsteps down the stairs.  Yep, my kiddos are at it! Fighting again!  Not just quarreling this time but a full on fist fight.  These moments do not bring out the best in this Momma!  Physical fighting is an absolute deal breaker in my home.  There is never a good reason and never a justifiable excuse.  My children know this… VERY WELL!  It takes a breath and a prayer and a PLEASE GOD HELP ME MANAGE THIS shout to the Lord to keep me from loosing my cool (and yet sometimes I fail).  What do I do when my kid’s FIGHT with one another?

My instinct is to start yelling and berating them letting them know just how awful their behavior is. Yet I know in my heart that doing what they’ve just done, giving way to my sinful nature, won’t teach them anything valuable. I want to separate them, punish them, and confine them to a time out for the rest of the day.  Out of sight, out of mind, I don’t want to deal with this!  But how will that solve the issue and grow their character?  We’ll be right back here again tomorrow!

My three children are homeschooled.  They are together 24/7.  My boys even participate in pretty much all of the same activities and classes.  Conflict is likely to erupt and boys being boys, physical fighting is somewhat inevitable.  I have a plan.  One I must follow even though it isn’t easy!  First, they are separated for a while.  Everyone, especially Momma, needs to cool off!  One goes to their bed, another to the couch.


Then it is time to dig up the Bible and see see what versus we can find that will remind us about God’s stance on fighting.  I’ll be honest… I sometimes get eye rolls and a whine that says… “But we KKKNNOOOWWW what the Bible says.”  Fighting is a topic we have to visit every several months.  My children know very well what God says about fighting.  Not only have we studied the scriptures at times of argument such as these but also during our daily Bible study lessons.

My Child Training Bible is my favorite resource at times like these!  Though I study the Bible daily, finding just the right versus at just the right moment is a struggle.  We open the pages and turn to Psalm 34:14

14 Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.
Or 1 Corinthians 13:4-7…
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Then Mommy asks the hard questions…. “Noah, when your brother broke your Lego building… did you turn from evil and do good? Did you seek peace?”  Ezra… “You love your brother right? Were you patient and kind with him when he accidently lost the page in your book?”
And so it goes.  We ask one another for forgiveness.  We pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help us keep our cool next time.  And life moves on.
I do ask myself if any of this really means anything to them, if it sinks in and has any impact.  Sometimes, on the crazier days I doubt that it does. After all, while I truly believe that our time in the word and prayer together curbs the behavior and builds good Godly character at least in the short term how do I know any of this is having a true lasting impact. Then God gives me a little bit of encouragement.  I’ll over hear a little conversation, just a snippet of a few words, between my children.  “Ezra don’t hit me! That’s not how do peace!”  Followed by a sheepish… “I’m sorry.”
It’s a start!  I’ll take it!
Come back all week as I share with you about some of the specific topics we’ve addressed with this method (I’ll be talking about Fighting, Complaining, and Fear among others).  You won’t want to miss it.
If you use the Bible in your home in a similar manner please leave an encouraging story in the comments.  I know all of us Moms could use it!
Many members of the TOS Review Crew are blogging about a variety of topics this week.  Please stop by their blogs.  They’ve chosen some fabulous topics to write about for you.
Brittney @ Mom’s Heart ~ Relaxed Homeschooling
Lisa @ A Rup Life ~ Our Favorite Books
Melissa @ Life Off the Paved Road ~ Fit From Home
Michelle @ Faith, Family, and Fridays ~ Clearing Out the Clutter
Jennifer @ Chestnut Grove Academy ~ Educational Apps
Jenni @ Conversaving ~ Homeschool Cooperatives
Lisa @ Home to 4 Kiddos ~ Celebrating Lent
Tawnee @ Adventures in Homeschooling ~ Spring Schooling

April Blog Hop


  1. great advice!

  2. Wonderful post and advice!

  3. I think my kids encounter quarreling and fighting so much *because* they are together so much, and it too is a constant work in progress in our home. Great post!

  4. working on my yelling is a huge goal for me….ugh! So hard to overcome, but so important!

  5. Love your heart. Great sound advice.

  6. keijo leppioja says:

    Yes for mind of Christ to be with us an his righteusness and with victory in blood and move on to get new character of Christ too and growing in the spirit with favor and prosper in souls and healthy life in peace,thanks and bless and pray,keijo sweden

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