When a Book Review Comes Along at Just the Right Time – Motivate Your Child

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I’ve been given the awesome opportunity to review another Heart Parenting book by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN.  You might remember their Christian Parenting Handbook that I reviewed earlier. The Heart Parenting concept taught in the first book changed my parenting and our home so much that I couldn’t wait to get my hands on another book by these authors.

The new book, being released later this month, is titled Motivate Your Child. Can I just say that I have been STRUGGLING with this for a while and just last week things sort of came to a head around here. My children are children and as pretty much all children do (and many adults as well), they shirk responsibilities as much as possible.

In fact I have given each of my children new nicknames because whenever I look to see if responsibilities (chores, school work, etc.) have been completed my oldest will likely tell me “I forgot!” My second son will claim “You didn’t tell me!” And my oldest daughter will claim “I can’t do it!”

This has been driving me MAD! Completely and utterly mad! Their effort in most things is mediocre at best. Everything takes FOREVER to get done and it is all done with much moaning and complaining. I’ve had to become a micromanaging task master just to get us through our day. It is exhausting and it isn’t doing a darn thing positive for our relationships. It is even putting something of a dark cloud over my marriage as my husband is coming home to a stressed out and grumpy wife nearly every day.

I believe in God who knows just what I need before I even do. Amazingly just this weekend and advance pdf copy of Motivate Your Child landed in my email box. Talk about answer to prayer. I’ve only just begun implementing some of their strategies.

Here is one of the first quotes that really struck me….

When parents choose their words carefully,
they’re contributing to the right kind of meditation for their children.

What this means is, right now I’m acting as my children’s conscience.  I tell them everything.  They don’t need to remember and honestly they don’t feel they need to do what I ask until I get agitated with them.  This is not how I want things to go and I’m sure they don’t either.

I made a plan to make things better. I came up with something of a script for myself (and my husband) to use repeatedly throughout the day.  Word cues I could give to my children to get them thinking about what they are doing.

For us some of these scripts include… Are you distracted or focus? Are you being diligent or absent minded? Are you being careful or careless?  Are you being caring or disrespectful?

Let me show you how this is working for us now.  My boys are responsible for sweeping our kitchen every day.  Many days they distract themselves by turning the brooms into swords to play fight with and in the end they do a terrible job.  Mommy gets aggravated and I start in with them… “Stop playing around! Get the job done! Look you missed this whole side!  What are you doing? I’m waiting on you to get other stuff done!”  Then they have to redo it.  Time and again.  What a waste of time and energy.

Now when I see them going down the wrong path I just have to say… “Are you being distracted or focused?”  That’s their cue to check themselves and start working the way they should.  No more Mommy badgering them and nagging.  After about a week I’ve actually over heard one say to the other… “Come on! We are being distracted! Let’s get focused!”  MUSIC TO THIS MOMMA’S EARS!  The words I’m using are more positive AND they are starting to use them on themselves.  GOLD MINE!

I’m looking forward to the next chapters! 1922283_841097825952421_4329519294050087241_n

Comments

  1. Thanks for sharing this great story Crystal. I’m so glad that this material is already proving to be helpful for you and your family. Many more good things lie ahead!

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